This is the last picture I have of myself standing. I posted it here before, but I thought I would post it again along with some of my thoughts from last night. The picture was taken in late July 2004 at the Franklin Roosevelt Memorial in Washington DC.  I’m standing next to Lynn, the love of my life, whom I had only been dating for about six months. I sort of think of this photo is being the last moment that I was on two feet. I remember the moment the picture was taken. We handed off the disposable camera to a stranger and he took our picture. I never saw the picture until I was in the hospital a few weeks later. Franklin Roosevelt was my favorite president and I find it ironic that the last picture I have of myself standing is in front of the president who became crippled as an adult and spent his life in a wheelchair. The reason that all of this has gone through my mind is because I drove through a part of town yesterday and over the crosswalk that we crossed to get to the Memorial. It had been the first time that I’ve been that close. It may long so much to be back there, carefree, with her. She left me right around this time five years ago, not long after the elections. I was in a hospital in Atlanta and she was back in Greensboro, North Carolina where we lived. About a month earlier, before our trip to DC, we had a conversation that all couples have at one point: “would you still stay with me if something terrible happened?” Now, think carefully about the person you’re with and how much you love them and how much they love you. Because, statistically speaking, there’s only a one in nine chance that you or your partner would stay after a catastrophic injury. Shortly after she broke up with me, I went to the counselor at the hospital and learned that 85 to 90% of couples, married or otherwise, break up after an accident. It’s inevitable. I used to resent her so much for leaving. It stayed with me for years. Hearing my side of the story most people would condemn her, until I stop them and tell them, “I would’ve left, too.” I would’ve. People will tell you, “you’re still the same person.” But that is bullshit. How could you possibly be the same person inside after something like this? Faced with everything that she was faced with, if it were me, I probably would’ve handled things the exact same way that she did. But you move on. Physically I may be weaker than I’ve ever been any point in my life, prior to my accident, but mentally I am stronger, more patient, more sensitive, and more understanding than I’ve ever been. So now, when I think about it, if I was in a relationship and something terrible happened to them, I think I might stand a chance of being in that one of nine people who sticks things out.
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This is the last picture I have of myself standing. I posted it here before, but I thought I would post it again along with some of my thoughts from last night. The picture was taken in late July 2004 at the Franklin Roosevelt Memorial in Washington DC.  I’m standing next to Lynn, the love of my life, whom I had only been dating for about six months.

I sort of think of this photo is being the last moment that I was on two feet. I remember the moment the picture was taken. We handed off the disposable camera to a stranger and he took our picture. I never saw the picture until I was in the hospital a few weeks later. Franklin Roosevelt was my favorite president and I find it ironic that the last picture I have of myself standing is in front of the president who became crippled as an adult and spent his life in a wheelchair.

The reason that all of this has gone through my mind is because I drove through a part of town yesterday and over the crosswalk that we crossed to get to the Memorial. It had been the first time that I’ve been that close. It may long so much to be back there, carefree, with her.

She left me right around this time five years ago, not long after the elections. I was in a hospital in Atlanta and she was back in Greensboro, North Carolina where we lived. About a month earlier, before our trip to DC, we had a conversation that all couples have at one point: “would you still stay with me if something terrible happened?”

Now, think carefully about the person you’re with and how much you love them and how much they love you. Because, statistically speaking, there’s only a one in nine chance that you or your partner would stay after a catastrophic injury. Shortly after she broke up with me, I went to the counselor at the hospital and learned that 85 to 90% of couples, married or otherwise, break up after an accident. It’s inevitable. I used to resent her so much for leaving. It stayed with me for years. Hearing my side of the story most people would condemn her, until I stop them and tell them, “I would’ve left, too.”

I would’ve. People will tell you, “you’re still the same person.” But that is bullshit. How could you possibly be the same person inside after something like this? Faced with everything that she was faced with, if it were me, I probably would’ve handled things the exact same way that she did.

But you move on. Physically I may be weaker than I’ve ever been any point in my life, prior to my accident, but mentally I am stronger, more patient, more sensitive, and more understanding than I’ve ever been. So now, when I think about it, if I was in a relationship and something terrible happened to them, I think I might stand a chance of being in that one of nine people who sticks things out.

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  1. burwell reblogged this from nonlinearmind and added:
    most inspiring experiences i’ve heard...i’m incredibly sorry
  2. nonlinearmind posted this